What technology did you expect would be available now that isn't?

1. A device that could tell when NEPA would interrupt the power supply.

2. Batteries that would last forever.

3. A device that will transmit your thoughts.

4. Downloading food with free Mb from the Internet. For example, with
Glo's ₦5-for-5-Mb-daily GBam plan, think of the amount of food you
can eat with ₦5.

5. Technology to make cars fly in air and swim on water . (This will
be especially useful during wars, natural disasters,etc.)

6. A device that makes wishes come true.

7. A device that can read other people's minds. This will prevent a
lot of crimes, heartbreaks and exam failures.

8. A SLAP button on Facebook for people who post trash to be slapped
to a state of pulp.

9. A device that can predict the future correctly.

10. Generator that runs on water only.

11. Vehicles that can drive themselves without colliding with other
road users (including reckless drivers and careless pedestrians).

12. A photocopier that reproduces ₦1,000 notes as genuinely and with
all embedded security features in the original as possible.

13. A machine you wear on your head while sleeping that records your
dreams for you to watch later.

14. A time machine that allows you to travel into your past to correct
all the wrongs and into your future to make it brighter.

15. A device that you'll put your head in as a woman and will give you
your well-made million braids in seconds.

*Feel free to add yours.

A good-for-nothing garden

Contrary to its family's warning, a small mouse squeezed itself
through a small hole to enter a beautiful garden. The garden had no
other entrance or exit.

Greedily consuming sweet food, it gradually got too big to get out
of the garden. So it had to starve itself to get out. It later called
the garden a "good-for-nothing garden".

Like the garden in this story, we have brought nothing into this world
and we will bring nothing out of it (1 Timothy 6:6-8).

"Òkèlè Àkọ́bù" by Kẹ́hìndé Adépégba

"Òkèlè Àkọ́bù" is a novel about the consequences of taking a blood
oath between lovers. Even the faithful partner suffers if the
relationship breaks up.

At 18 and 22 respectively and as secondary school students, Omolade
and Olaoye swear to marry each other in future and never to have
other lovers.Olaoye passes his SSCE and gets admitted into OAU;
Omolade fails hers thrice and settles for tailoring. She gets pregnant
and has a son Bidemi for Olaoye. At the university, Olaoye dates
Bolanle, a fellow undergraduate. Omolade catches them together at one
of her visits. Olaoye graduates, goes to the US for further studies
(after leaving a nasty letter for Omolade) and marries Bolanle. But
Bolanle soon dies after he has spent all his money on her illness. He
leaves Los Angeles for New Jersey and marries Dupe, a journalist. Dupe
gets involved in drug dealing and they both go to jail. He serves part
of his jail term in the US and the rest in Nigeria.

Omolade is left alone to care for Bidemi, whom Olaoye has disowned.
She marries Arígbábuwó but he divorces her when his shop is gutted by
fire. She then becomes Ọ̀tún's third wife. When Otun dies, the other
wives and his entire family chase Omolade away for bringing bad luck.
Bidemi dies in the process.

The families of Olaoye and Omolade seek out pastors, imams and
traditional healers who all point to the unfulfilled blood oath as the
cause of their problems. The lovers marry and their problem ends.

"Oliver Twist" by Charles Dickens

Oliver is born in a workhouse ( a house for poor people). His mother
is found on the streets and brought to the workhouse, where he is
born. The young woman dies immediately after childbirth.

Oliver's guardian, Mrs Mann, doesn't feed him well. Soon ,he is
returned to the workhouse where he faces both hard work and poor
feeding. One day, Oliver asks for more food and is punished. Then he
is sold to Mr Sowerberry.

Mr Sowerberry is friendly to Oliver but Mrs Sowerberry, Noah Claypole
and Charlotte are hostile. Oliver flees to London, where he meets Jack
Dawkins, a boy of his age. Jack offers him food and shelter but
introduces him to a gang of 8 criminals ( Fagins, Toby Crackit, Monks,
Charley Bates, Jack Dawkins, Bill Sikes, Nancy and Bet ). Oliver is
soon sent to "work" with Jack and Charley.

On Oliver's first day with them, Jack and Charley rob one Mr Brownlow
and flee. Oliver is arrested but later released when an eyewitness
explains that he has stolen nothing. Mr Brownlow takes him in and
cares for him. He is however captured by the gang while on an errand.

During a robbery operation, Oliver (being young and tiny) is put
through the window of a house so he can open the door once inside. He
is shot by the occupants of the house and the others flee. The
occupants (Rose Maylie, her aunt and their servants) take great care
of him.

Oliver sees Fagins and Monks staring at him through the window of his
room one day. Then Monks contacts an old woman from the workhouse and
has Oliver's legacy thrown away. Nancy goes to Rose secretly and tells
her about the plan to recapture Oliver. Rose tells Mr Brownlow about
the matter. (Interestingly, Mr Brownlow is Monks' father's friend.
Monks' parents have separated before his father impregnates Agnes, who
gives birth to Oliver in a workhouse.)

Nancy goes to see Mr Brownlow secretly one day, unaware that Charley
is trailing her. So she is murdered. Monks is persuaded to help his
half-brother Oliver. Sikes and Fagins are executed, and Oliver's
legacy is restored. Charley begins to live an honest life, while
Monks' carefree life leads to his death in prison. Oliver lives a
happy life, surrounded by the Maylies and Mr Brownlow.

Why ? Why ?? Why ???

1.If swimming is a good exercise to stay FIT,why are whales FAT?

2.Why is the place in a stadium where people SIT called a STAND?

3.Why is that everyone wants to go to HEAVEN but nobody wants to DIE?

4.Shall I say that there is racial discrimination even in chess as
the WHITE piece is moved FIRST?

5.In our country, we have FREEDOM of SPEECH. Then, why do we have
TELEPHONE BILLS?

6.If money doesn't grow on TREES ,then why do banks have BRANCHES?

7. Why doesn't GLUE stick to its BOTTLE?

8.Why do you still call it a BUILDING when it's already BUILT?

9.If it's true that we are here to HELP others,what are others HERE for?

10.If you aren't supposed to DRINK and DRIVE, why do bars have PARKING lots?

11.If all the nations in the world are in debt,where did all the money go?

12.If The "Black Box" Flight Recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

13.If our body is clean after bathing, why then do towels get dirty?

*We all are living in a seriously funny world!!!

Emails Vs Letters

In the olden days, letters were written on paper and sent by the
postal system or by an intermediary. A letter from Nigeria to the US
can take weeks to reach its destination and the reply would also take
weeks to get back to the sender in Nigeria. Some letters get lost and
don't reach their destinations. Also, the letter can be tampered with
by the intermediary, leaked to the wrong people or re-packed with a
letter bomb (like the Dele Giwa case in Nigeria). A secret love affair
can be exposed through a leaked love letter or card. When lovers break
up and marry other people, they often have to burn up a pile of
letters and photographs from their exes to re-assure their current
partners of their fidelity. Sending big parcels by post costs a lot of
money. Telephone conversations are faster but cannot be documented
like letters. Up till now, call logs only show that Number A was used
to call Number B today, without recording their conversation,voices or
faces. Text messages are documented but are automatically deleted to
make way for new messages and are not printable. Facebook messages are
printable but auto-deleted to make way for new messages.

Emails are the perfect solution to these problems. They are delivered
within minutes regardless of distance, can be as lengthy as letters,
are documented like letters, and cannot leak unless either the
sender's or the recipient's email account is hacked. Above all, nobody
can lace an email with a letter bomb. Whole books (e.g. E-books, and
Microsoft Word documents) can be uploaded and sent as attachments in
an email at no extra cost. Love emails and photos from exes remain
hidden away in the email box and don't have to be deleted. You don't
have to delete a photo of your child by another man/woman from your
email box to please your current partner.

Cameroonian "3rd Lady" kidnapped by Boko Haram

The wife of Cameroon's vice-prime minister was kidnapped and at least
three people were killed in an attack by Boko Haram militants in the
northern town of Kolofata on Sunday, Cameroon officials said.

A local religious leader, or lamido, named Seini Boukar Lamine, who is
also the town's mayor, was kidnapped in a separate attack on his home.

There was no immediate claim of responsibility.

Boko Haram, the Nigerian Islamist militant group, has stepped up
cross-border incursions into Cameroon in recent weeks as the country
has deployed troops to the region, joining international efforts to
combat the militants.

"I can confirm that the home of vice-prime minister Amadou Ali in
Kolofata came under a savage attack from Boko Haram militants," Issa
Tchiroma told Reuters by telephone.

"They unfortunately took away his wife. They also attacked the
lamido's residence and he was also kidnapped," he said, and at least
three people were killed in the attack.

A Cameroon military commander in the region told Reuters the VPM, who
was at home to celebrate the Muslim feast of Ramadan with his family,
was taken to a neighbouring town by security officials.

"The situation is very critical here now, and as I am talking to you
the Boko Haram elements are still in Kolofata town in a clash with our
soldiers," said Col Felix Nji Formekong, the second commander of
Cameroon's third inter-army military region, based in the regional
headquarters Maroua.

The Sunday attack is the third by Boko Haram in Cameroon since Friday.
At least four soldiers were killed in previous attacks. About 22
suspected Boko Haram militants, who have been held in Maroua since
March, were on Friday given prison sentences ranging from 10 to 20
years. It is unclear whether the events are related.
Boko Haram have killed hundreds of people this year, mostly in
north-eastern Nigeria, although they have bombed places across the
country. A bomb attack on a Catholic church in northern Nigeria's main
city of Kano killed five people and wounded eight on Sunday, a senior
police officer said. Churches have been a favourite target for the
militants.
The attacker threw the bomb at worshippers on their way out of the
church, police commissioner Adenrele Shinaba told Reuters. Police
cordoned off the scene.
In a separate incident, a female suicide bomber tried to attack police
officers on the streets. She killed herself but only wounded two of
them, Shinaba said.

(www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jul/27/cameroon-boko-haram-kindap-kolofata)