"Ọgbọ́n Ọlọ́gbọ́n" by Kẹ́hìndé Adépégba

Àpínkẹ́, a spinster in Ìrírídọgbọ́n village, goes to Ìyá Ìrètí (a hairdresser) to make her hair. She also seeks advice on who to marry between single Fìtílà and married Adéṣeun. Ìyá Ìrètí tells her her own experience with polygamy.

Adétutù is warned by her father, Orísunwọ̀n, against marrying Àkànbí (from Àgbábú Village) because the oracle says he is likely to take a second wife. Her mother (Olúfúnkẹ́), impressed by Àkànbí's wealth, tells her to get pregnant for him to force Orísunwọ̀n to consent to the marriage. She obeys her mother and becomes Àkànbí's first wife. She bears 3 children (Adéṣẹwà , Adépéjú and Adéolú) before he marries Ọmọ́ṣọlá. One day , while their husband is away, Ọmọ́ṣọlá fights Adétutù and accuses her of being behind her 5-year childlessness. After chasing Adétutù into her room, she later admits (in a soliloquy) : (a) being naturally childless ; (b) being behind the deaths of Adéṣẹwà and Adépéjú; (c) her readiness to kill 6-year-old  Adéolú too, in order to make Adétutù ("the favourite wife") childless like her. Adétutù overhears her, quickly packs her belongings and flees with her only remaining child. On her way to her parents' house at Ìrírídọgbọ́n, night falls and she spreads a mat to sleep with her son by the roadside. When she wakes up the next day, Adéolú is nowhere to be found! When she gets to her parents'   house and tells them, they send Tàlàbí (her younger brother) to summon Àkànbí. Tàlàbí comes back to report Àkànbí's death in his sleep.

Adétutù remains single because: (a) no bachelor will want to marry a mother of 3 ; (b)she doesn't want to marry a married man and face the problems of polygamy again. Her hope of finding Adéolú makes the people around her nickname her "Ìyá Ìrètí" (= Hope's mother).

14 years later, Agbọmọlà (who inscribed Adéolú's traditional facial marks in childhood at Àgbábú village) sees him working on a farm in Onírèké village. After noticing the marks and asking for his name, Agbọmọlà asks to see his parents. His adoptive parents, Akínbámi and Ìbídùn, admit seeing him wandering about as a 6-year-old and remembering nothing else except his name, Adéolú. They follow Agbọmọlà to hand him over to his mother at her village. Adéolú takes good care of his mother and doesn't even want her to work for money but she doesn't want to be idle.

Even though nobody is contesting Àkànbí's property with her, Ọmọ́ṣọlá decides to eliminate  Adéolú. While reciting the incantations over a pot of charms, the charms boomerang on her and she runs mad. She confesses her atrocities (including killing  Àkànbí) before she is stoned to death by a crowd.

Àpínkẹ́ now decides against a polygamous marriage. Let's hope  the bachelor she marries won't marry a second wife after her. After all,  Adétutù too married a bachelor.

"Ìsújú ọ̀sanyìn" by Olú Owólabí

THE CAST

* Adéjọbí and his wife Àdùkẹ́ (Kúnlé's parents)
* Fẹ̀hìntọlá and Adébísí (Àdùkẹ́'s friends)
* Sẹ̀gilọlá : Adéjọbí's girlfriend.
* Sùnnbọ̀  : Sẹ̀gilọlá's housegirl.
* Ifádìran and Bángbádé : spiritualists.
* Kàsálí, Àdìgún and Babátúnde : Adéjọbí's friends.
* Àníkẹ́ and Jọláadé: Sẹ̀gilọlá's friends.
* Èjìrẹ́ : a businessman at the bank.
* Dòkunmú: Prosecution counsel.
* Àdìó: Defence counsel.

THE PLOT OF THE PLAY

Adéjọbí complains about his poor financial status despite being educated and working for the government for over 28 years. His wife, Àdùkẹ́, urges him to take things easy and not rush into trouble. His girlfriend, Sẹ̀gilọlá, tells him to find "ìsújú  ọ̀sanyìn" (a charm that will make them invisible while committing robbery). Only twins will be able to see and expose them.

Ifádìran is too principled to give Adéjọbí the charm so he gets it from Bangbade. Sẹ̀gilọlá's spiritualist "polishes" the charm . Adéjọbí finds 3 men (Kàsálí, Àdìgún and Babátúnde), who insist on their all swearing a blood oath to punish betrayers. Adéjọbí and Sẹ̀gilọlá try the charm at a supermarket and it works for them. When Àdùkẹ́ cautions Adéjọbí against keeping late nights, he beats her up. Sẹ̀gilọlá's friends, who are also married women, blame Àdùkẹ́ for being nosy and beg Adéjọbí to forgive her. She then decides to mind her own business.

On the D-day, Adéjọbí wears the charm on his head and goes into the bank's vault naked. The other men stand armed at the bank's entrance while he hands over the money to Sẹ̀gilọlá outside the bank. Suddenly, Èjìrẹ́(a twin) sees Adéjọbí and raises an alarm. The others now see Adéjọbí and get him arrested. The 3 armed men are also arrested after Kàsálí has shot dead the policeman at the entrance. Sẹ̀gilọlá runs home with the whole loot.

While in police custody, Kàsálí mentions Sẹ̀gilọlá's name and address. Sẹ̀gilọlá initially denies her involvement but later bribes the policemen when confronted with indisputable evidence [ (a)the bank notes found in her purse bearing the numbers on the notes stolen from the bank ; (b)Sùnnbọ̀'s testimony about Adéjọbí being Sẹ̀gilọlá's regular visitor and her going out with the 4 detained men on the date of the robbery before returning alone]. The police make Sẹ̀gilọlá the prosecution witness against the 4 men and teach her what to say in court. The men (with Adéjọbí being the only one married) are executed publicly.

Sẹ̀gilọlá does not go scotfree. She sees the four men trying to kill her in her sleep and even when awake. She is forced to confess her involvement in the robbery before her friends and Ifádìran (whose efforts to save her fail). She then faints and dies. 

Don't seek money through crooked means.

The hymen and virginity

The hymen is the piece of skin sometimes covering a female human's vagina.
It varies considerably in shape and elasticity, but is generally either
stretched or torn during the first attempt at sexual intercourse. A virgin
is someone who has never had sex. Contrary to popular belief, an intact
hymen is not a conclusive proof of a woman's virginity.

1. NOT EVERY VIRGIN HAS A HYMEN.

Some babies are born without a hymen. They were not deflowered from the
womb, were they? Of course not.

2. MOST HYMENS HAVE ONE OR MORE OPENINGS, TO ALLOW THE OUTFLOW OF MENSTRUAL
BLOOD AND VAGINAL DISCHARGE.

A hymen without any opening (i.e. an imperforate hymen) needs to be
perforated to allow menstrual flow. The various types of hymen are depicted
in the picture attached to this article.

3. NOT EVERYONE WITH AN INTACT HYMEN IS A VIRGIN.

As stated earlier, a hymen is either stretched or torn during the first
attempt at sexual intercourse. A woman in her teens or 20s usually has an
inelastic hymen that breaks easily and bleeds at penetration. Even then,
new tissue grows to fill up the hymen within 6-12 months of abstinence from
sex or any other penetrative activity, making her pass for a virgin again.
(a) If you are a woman who has just been used and dumped, abstain from sex
for the next 6 months, keeping any new suitor as a platonic friend. Then
squat, part your inner labia and check your vaginal opening with a mirror.
There is no harm in experimenting with abstinence. (Virgins should not
experiment with sex or married women starve their husbands sexually in
order to carry out this experiment). (b) If you are a man, staying away
from your wife for 6-12 months and then checking her vaginal opening can
confirm her fidelity or otherwise ONLY IF her hymen is the inelastic type.
An elastic hymen will always bounce back into place after sex and fool you.

The hymen of a woman in her 30s usually becomes very elastic, due to
exposure to higher amounts of estrogen. It (whether "follow-come" or
regrown) usually stretches (sometimes all the way to the cervix) without
breaking during sex and bounces back to the vaginal entrance afterwards.
It can allow deep penetration and let semen flow into the womb for
pregnancy to occur. Unless she or her lover learns to stretch her hymen
with her fingers (by pushing in the finger and letting it stay there for a
few minutes before slowly removing it and going to another spot on the
hymen) regularly before sex, penile penetration will be more difficult for
her each time she has sex than for a younger lady (whose hymen will quickly
break and stay that way unless she goes on a long sex fast) because the
typical guy will thrust in fast. An elastic hymen (when stretched
beforehand ) increases a man's sexual pleasure by touching his sensitive
glans throughout the sex act.

...............................................

So there you are. Only a woman knows for sure whether she is still a virgin
or not. Don't ask her unless you are ready to believe whatever she chooses
to tell you. Her current moral values and her health status (HIV status,
genotype, blood group,etc) matter more than her virginity (which can be
lost through rape). If you are about to marry a woman you haven't slept
with, take her for a pregnancy test to prevent paternity fraud.

How to remove a trapped microSIM card from a Nokia Asha 210 SIM 2 card holder.

Nokia Asha 210's SIM 1 card holder has a "shiftable door" that can
be used to let in or let out a SIM card (whether a normal SIM card or
a microSIM card). A normal SIM card can be easily inserted into and
removed from an Asha 210 SIM 2 card holder. A microSIM card is
difficult to remove once it falls deep inside the SIM 2 card holder.
Here are the steps to follow if such happens.

1. Use a needle to shift the SIM card through the holes far from the
card holder entrance until the SIM card covers only part of the 3
holes closest to the entrance. The needle won't work beyond this
point, however hard you try. Neither will a pair of dividers help to
pull out the card from outside.

2. Now, find a staple pin (or any other L-shaped thin metal) and
insert it (with one of its shorter parts inside) into the 3 holes in
turn to push out the SIM card until it protrudes enough to be pulled
out by hand from outside the SIM card holder.

Now you are free.

NOTE: After this exercise, your phone's metal parts will be very hot
and burn out any battery inserted before they cool down. Therefore,
don't insert the phone battery back into the phone for the next 1
hour.

"Kẹ́ṣinlóró" by Ọládẹ̀jọ Ọdẹ́bùnmi

Aremu's father, Adetoye, is set ablaze with 2 of his children by thugs from
a rival political party. Only Aremu survives.

Later on, the military takes over. When the military decides to hand over
to the civilians, Aremu surprisingly goes into politics despite his wife
Funmilayo's pleadings that he remembers the circumstances of his father's
death. Aremu is the main campaigner for his party and is promised the post
of Petroleum Minister if the party wins. He meets Clara (from Edo State)
and eventually brings her in as his second wife.

Funmilayo travels to complain to her mother but is crushed to death by a
speeding trailer in front of Obafemi Awolowo University , Ile-Ife.
Funmilayo's mother, Moradeyo, dies of shock because Funmilayo is her only
surviving child.

When Ajagbe passes his SSCE in flying colours, Clara tries to poison him
several times but fails. His late mother's words of caution makes him lock
his room even when he wants to spit, thus preventing Clara from entering
his room and poisoning his foodstuffs. He cooks his own food because Clara
refused to cook for him. Eventually, Clara gets Aremu to kick him out and
disown him by lying that he has kicked her in the belly. Aremu doesn't
listen to Ajagbe's side of the story.

Ajagbe's maternal grandfather borrows money to sponsor his education,
promising to pay back 7 years later after he has graduated and gotten a
job. Ajagbe graduates as a medical doctor but can't get a job. He is asked
to get a politician's endorsement letter or give them money. Ajagbe's
grandpa's creditor gets tired of waiting and brings thugs who club the old
man to death.

Meanwhile, Aremu's party wins but someone else is made the Petroleum
Minister , with no other post for him. When he goes to the house of
Gbádégẹṣin(a party chieftain) to protest, the latter brands him a thief and
gets him imprisoned. Clara sells off all his property and leaves with her
son.

Ajagbe goes to Lagos and eventually joins a gang of armed robbers, most of
whom are also unemployed graduates. He meets Kẹ́mi , a fellow unemployed
graduate of the same university, who has become a prostitute and confides
in her. When a radio broadcast alerts them of a police hunt for armed
robbers, the gang members leave Lagos for their various hometowns.

Kẹ́mi hears of the mouth-watering price promised the informant and squeals
on the gang. Fortunately for Ajagbe, he is returning to their hotel base
after dropping his girlfriend Ṣèyí at her home. He hears gunshots and
drives away from Osogbo to Maiduguri. He gives his life to Jesus and
becomes a pastor. While doing prison tours with fellow church members, he
meets his father Aremu in prison and the latter collapses and dies on
seeing him.

As if jinxed, Ajagbe decides to return to his hometown, Èjìgbà-ìlẹ̀kẹ̀, for
politics. He witnesses the execution of his former comrades-in-crime,
"Sergeant" and "Kọ́bùrù "("Corporal") . His eyes meet Kẹ́mi's and he
discovers from her conversation with someone else that she is the squealer.

Kọ́bùrù gives a touching speech before his execution on how politicians'
embezzlement and widespread corruption pushed them into crime. According to
him (on page 92 of the book) , "Ọmọ ènìyàn ló k'ẹ́sin lóró ; ẹṣin ò níkà
nínú " (i. e. man taught a horse wickedness; a horse is not basically
wicked).

Two weeks later, Ajagbe is shot dead on the podium while campaigning for
his party. Kẹ́mi leaves the campaign venue and drinks poison on getting to
her room. Her father's efforts to save her life fails.

▪

"Ààrẹ-àgò Aríkúyẹrí" (= the war chief who dodged death), a play by Lawuyi Ogunniran.

Ògúnrìndé Ajé is the Ààrẹ-àgò Balógun of Ibadan. He has 3 wives:
Aṣiyanbí (the first wife), Fátọ́lá (the second and favourite wife) and
Adépèlé (the newest wife).

One day, Ààrẹ-àgò decides to worship his personal god. His wives and
servants sing his praises and dance in turn before him. Fátọ́lá
outshines the other wives and is publicly celebrated , and this breeds
envy.

A few days later, Adepele's twins (Táíwò and Kẹ́hìndé) die of
poisoning and Ààrẹ-àgò asks all the women in his household to help him
fish out the culprit. A few minutes later, Ìdòwú (Adepele's only
remaining child) falls ill and she cries out for help. Aṣiyanbí calls
Adépèlé aside and tells her, " I have gone to see my herbalist and he
said Fátọ́lá is behind it all because she doesn't have any son for our
husband". She tells Ààrẹ-àgò in private that she went with Adépèlé
to see the herbalist but she only hesitantly repeats the charge before
the whole household. Despite Fátọ́lá's immediate protests of
innocence, Ààrẹ-àgò shoots her dead when Idowu dies (and Adépèlé
becomes childless).

Baṣọ̀run Ògúnmọ́lá invites Ààrẹ-àgò for questioning over the jungle
justice meted out to Fátọ́lá. Only Baṣọ̀run is authorised to mete out
the death penalty. Baṣọ̀run and his chiefs (Balógun, Ọ̀tún, Òsì,
Aṣípa and Ìyálóde) all said Aje should be hanged and tell him to
bring his 2 wives the next day for questioning. During the
cross-examination, Adépèlé reveals that : (a) she didn't follow
Aṣiyanbí to any herbalist ; (b) Aṣiyanbí is the one taking care of her
children ; (c) Fátọ́lá outshone them at Ààrẹ-àgò's party and Aṣiyanbí
said she will pay for it. Aṣiyanbí, like Adepele, testifies that all
the wives loved one another before Aje chose his favourite in public.
She also admits that she went alone to the herbalist (who is of no
fixed address and she can't identify again if she sees him).

The chiefs meet and inform Baṣọ̀run of their joint decision : Aje
should be pardoned because of his past exploits in defending Ibadan
against external aggression. Baṣọ̀run then brings out 4 people who
tried to bribe him with money on Aje's behalf. The chiefs admit being
similarly approached but they have shared the money. The corrupt
chiefs and the bribe-carriers are all to be sold into slavery.
Aṣiyanbí is to be sentenced to death by public hanging for poisoning
Adepele's children and then implicating Fátọ́lá. Adépèlé is
discharged and sympathized with on the loss of all her children.

Aje is told to put his house in order as a warrior and then die in a
"dignified" way (i.e.by suicide rather than by public hanging). Aje
runs away instead, earning the name "Ààrẹ-àgò Aríkúyẹrí" (= the war
chief who dodged death). Henceforth, Baṣọ̀run decrees that all
murderers (regardless of status) will be publicly executed.

Before you attack your cheating partner,...

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

A man is dressing up for work when his phone rings and "My love"
appears as the caller's name. His wife picks up the phone and starts
an argument with him, even slapping him for alleged infidelity and
daring him to beat her up . He mercifully didn't beat her back.

In the middle of the argument, the caller calls again and the wife
shouts "husband-snatcher, daughter of Jezebel " at the caller before
hearing his/her "Hello ". The caller turns out to be her husband's
male colleague and best friend, who now explains matters as follows.
"My phone fell into water and got spoilt so I inserted my SIM card
into your husband's phone to receive my calls for the rest of the day.
I forgot to take back my SIM card at closing time and called him (with
my wife's phone number) this morning to remind him to bring my SIM
card to work so I can put it in my new phone. Please don't fight with
your husband. He is a good man ". The "My love " is actually the
colleague's wife's number saved on the colleague's SIM card in the
husband's phone!

The wife fell on knees to apologize to her husband in tears while he
looks on.You can now watch the video here for the story. Don't
overreact, especially before doing thorough investigation.

Even if your partner is found guilty after the investigation, resist
the temptation to be physically or verbally abusive by walking away
for some time to clear your head (The Bible @ Proverbs 17:14). May we
not kill or be killed.