1. If circumstances do not allow you to help people , just make sure you don't harm them. Jesus Christ did not blame the 5 wise virgins for not rendering self-harming help to the foolish virgins (Matthew 25: 1-12).
2. There is a limit to human help (2 Kings 6:26-27 ; Psalm 49:7-9) . Even the biological parents of an only child will not be able to help him rear up his 4 children, 16 grandchildren, 64 great-grandchildren, etc.
3. Don't distract people from facing their own battles. Neither try to profiteer from other people's problems. Don't dump your children's upkeep on someone who is childless or has lost a child. They will see you as the architect of their problems. Nowadays, most childless women battle fibroids, etc and can't afford to shoulder the upkeep of other people's children as well.
4. Don't have more children than you can handle alone (in case of divorce or widowhood , and even to enjoy your marriage ) . Even God directly created only 2 people (and left the remaining production to us, via reproduction). Having many children even increases a woman's risk of developing placenta previa, cervical cancer, etc. There is a medium in all things.
5. Extensive farming (along with attending public schools) can help large families to survive. Labour is a factor of production. That's how our forefathers survived in the olden days.
6. Yorùbá people say :(a)"Òrìṣà jẹ́ n pé méjì obìnrin kò dénú"( Deep down, no woman wants her husband to have another wife) ; (b) "Ẹní bímọ fún'ni kúrò l'álè ẹni" (the mother of your child is more than a side chick or mistress). Therefore, don't let any woman see (or know) you as her rival, or your child as her stepchild. That's how not to be a home-breaker.
7. No cheating husband can commit maternity fraud against a woman. A woman can always tell her own child apart from a stepchild. That is nature's compensation for the labour pains. Remember this biological advantage when tempted to cheat back or fight other women over a man.
8. A mistress has only herself and her children to feed most of the time, since the man visits her only occasionally while his friends and relatives have no business with her. She can therefore afford to be less financially demanding than the wife (who needs an adequate Entertainment Allowance in order to be a good wife, stepmother, daughter-in-law, etc). Greater work should attract greater pay.
9. All financial transactions (even between relatives and fellow believers) should be properly documented. Read Jeremiah 32: 6-12.
May God bless all our well-wishers and make the plans of the wicked against us backfire on them. Amen.
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Like a computer-based test (CBT), life is a series of customized "questions" (or trials). You may face trials previously unknown to those in your family, neighbourhood,etc. You may get into trouble for doing what other people had gotten away with.
"Past questions" (other people's earlier experiences) alone are often not enough to get by. You have to read very widely and think deeply. Life has no curriculum, syllabus or exam time-table. You may face questions on PRONOUN before knowing what a NOUN is. You may face SIMULTANEOUS EQUATIONS before LINEAR EQUATIONS , or INTEGRATION before DIFFERENTIATION. This is because "the whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one" (1 John 5: 19).
Therefore, face your problems squarely and don't distract others from facing theirs. Your "questions" are unique. It is sheer wickedness to push your responsibilities to others (and sheer folly to accept such responsibilities). "No dog is ferocious enough to guard two houses successfully", says a Yoruba proverb. A good swimmer should direct others from a safe distance. If they all hang on to him (instead of learning to swim), both he and they will drown.
When the 5 wise virgins were unable to share their oil, they directed the 5 foolish virgins to the sellers of oil (Matthew 25: 1-12). When Moses' own mother was unable to hide him at home beyond 3 months of age, she placed him in a water-proof basket over the River Nile. God moved Pharaoh's daughter to adopt (rather than kill) him (Exodus 2: 1- 10). Know your limits. "Too much luggage breaks a plantain stem", says another Yoruba proverb.
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