Should a childless spinster adopt a child?

A Christian spinster is usually advised to patiently wait for a monogamous marriage before having children. "Single motherhood is stressful. A child needs both parents". Later on in life, she will be told to consider adoption if she is feeling lonely, rather than have her own child out of wedlock. If single motherhood is not ideal for her own child, does someone else's child deserve it? Is it even in the child's own interests? 

1. The best adoptive home for an orphan is the one where the married couple already have a child or 2 of their own. The wife's health has been stabilized by childbearing. She is not dragged to the surgical theatre by fibroids for not having her own biological child (https://punchng.com/virginity-does-not-protect-from-fibroid-ivf-expert/). The couple are not shedding tears of frustration every time the wife menstruates, making the adopted child wonder, "Am I not good enough to make them happy?" The adopted child is not emotionally crushed by hearing them pray to get their own child. They are likelier to stay married for life than childless couples (who may break up to test their fertilities elsewhere). Very few people will know they are not the biological parents. 

2. The 2nd-best adoptive home is the one with a childless couple. At least, they have each other. They can wait for the child to sleep at night before trying to have their own child. The child cannot interfere with their love life. Once the wife remains healthy, they will be able to do their best by the child. 

3. The next-best home is the one with a single mother. Even if she doesn't ever have the chance to get married, she already has at least one biological child. She doesn't have to fear menopause any longer and is less prone to fibroids than a childless woman. She can afford to bear a "Mrs" title (with the same surname as the children) , in order to "dignify" the children. 

4. The worst home is the one with a childless spinster. (a) She is highly prone to fibroids , which tend to regrow even after surgery until she gives birth biologically. (b) Adoption scares away most eligible men (who don't want to marry single mothers and carry another man's responsibilities) from her, while the biological single mothers (who are also fibroid-free) hide their children with relatives or orphanages in order to attract bachelors for marriage. (c) A spinster and her date will be disturbed by the adopted child during his evening visits, since they don't live together as a couple. (d) Since she has no husband by her side and is still a "Miss", she must explain to curious wives asking for the child's father that the child is adopted (and not born by her for anyone's husband) for the child's own safety.     

[ Caring for someone else's child ] + [ the health problems of childlessness ] - [ the support of a husband ] = [ the worst of all worlds ]. 

Orphanages provide a vital service for abandoned children. They foster them till 18 years of age before sending them out , to make way for new babies. Other members of the society (including people who can't afford to adopt them) can donate the little money they have to the orphanage. Politicians and other bigwigs also do the same. "Little drops of water, little grains of sand, make the mighty ocean and the beauteous land". The absence of any extra help or inheritance after age 18 is compensated for by the absence of extended family responsibilities towards nephews, nieces, aged relatives, etc later in life. Agony aunts, the right books, etc will provide emotional support.  

................................

People should have only the number of children they can cater for, without depending on others to foster or adopt them. God is not against family planning. After having enough children ,how can a married couple obey Matthew 19:9 ("don't divorce your spouse except on the grounds of adultery") ; 1 Corinthians 7: 3-5 ("don't deprive each other of sex, except by mutual consent for a SHORT period of prayer") and 1 Timothy 5: 8 ("whoever doesn't provide for his own family is worse than an unbeliever") without using some form of family planning? It is abortion that God hates (Exodus 21: 22-25 ; Psalm 139: 16 ; Ecclesiastes 11: 5 ; Isaiah 49: 1 ; Luke 1: 41, 44 ), not pregnancy prevention. God killed Onan for preventing CHILDLESS Tamar from having any child after marrying her in order to get her late husband's (his late brother's) property (Genesis 38: 1-11 ; Deuteronomy 25: 5-10). God spared Ruth's closest male in-law, who was honest enough to decline both her and Mahlon's property and let richer Boaz marry her (Ruth 4: 1-10). Don't be a "dog in the manger".   

An online women's conference

Mrs A and Mrs B are close friends. While Mrs A lives with her husband and posts their family pictures on social media, she doesn't know Mr B (her friend's husband). The two friends have the following conversation one day. 

Mrs A: As close as we are, why don't I know your husband and your children's father? You keep telling me he works and lives outside the country.

Mrs B: Why are you worried? Does my husband's surname tally with yours? Maybe you should get a computer geek to track your husband's phone conversations. 

Mrs A: I have done that already and know you are not dating him or have children for him. I am just curious about why your man has never visited you. Is he late?  

Mrs B: No. He is still alive but married to another woman.

Mrs A: Who entered his life first : you or she?

Mrs B: Me. 

Mrs A: Please give me the details. I'm all ears. 

Mrs B: We dated while in the secondary school but later parted when he insisted on premarital sex. We were both too young for parenthood then. Even when I graduated and got a job, the men I dated insisted on getting me pregnant to confirm my fertility before taking me to the altar. I don't believe in premarital sex and suggested we go for fertility check-ups (including ultrasound scans and hormonal profile tests) instead. They refused and walked away. Yet, a man will get 4 women pregnant, marry one (or even none) and ask all the others to abort. I later developed fibroids at 32.   

Mrs A: What are fibroids? 

Mrs B: Fibroids are non-cancerous tumors that grow in a woman's womb. My belly started enlarging like a pregnant woman's, scaring potential suitors away. Sellers of baby things started pestering me whenever I go to the market. Doctors blamed my being childless at that age and advised surgery (https://punchng.com/virginity-does-not-protect-from-fibroid-ivf-expert/). Less informed people say only family planning causes fibroids in women. The only family planning method I was using then was abstinence. When I asked them why most married women (who ALL use contraceptives, rather than abstinence, to space or stop child-bearing) don't have fibroids, they kept quiet. I had to explain that, "Married women stop using contraceptives every 2 or 3 years to have another child, while we spinsters use abstinence non-stop for decades (while waiting for a monogamous marriage) and become fibroid-prone due to nulliparity. Even if they develop fibroids after their last child, they can cheerfully wait for menopause to clear up the fibroids without going for surgery. If the pains or bleeding become unbearable, they can have their wombs removed to prevent a regrowth". I drank all sorts of potions from traditional healers but none worked. My belly kept slowly getting bigger and I had 2-week-long belly pains (called fibroid degeneration) every 6 months. I eventually underwent the surgery at 37.      

Mrs A: What happened next? 

Mrs B: I was told to try to have my own child (after resting for 1 year) in order to prevent a fibroid regrowth. At that age, most bachelors were younger than I and considered me too old for marriage, while most men my age and above were married. The only widower who asked me out had 5 children and was always broke. I knew I couldn't help him feed them all and still be able to bear and rear my 2-3 children. Surgery has weakened me too much for that. I prefer a living rival (who will help rear her own children) to a dead one (whose children will be a burden to me). Then I ran into my ex at a seminar and we exchanged contacts. Though I knew he is now married, I wanted to avoid another fibroid surgery. I have my own job, had only the number of children I can rear alone, have never gone near his matrimonial home and send only safe messages to his phone. Which wife will suspect a contact who sends prayer messages (covering both him and his family), health tips, inspirational sermons, etc (but no love messages) to her husband's phone? My kids and I bear one of his other names. I showed my close relatives only his photo (so they can avoid sleeping with him, which would be incest) but kept his real names and other details to myself (so they won't accidentally spill the beans to someone who knows the wife).Thank God for the impossibility of maternity fraud from a shared husband or lover. 

Mrs A: Now I understand why today's mistresses do not continue to wait for their own husbands. Isaiah 4:1 is also being fulfilled in our day.  It's not easy to frequent the surgical theatre without a child to show for it, while some other women gloat about having all their children vaginally. You can't wait for a divorcé or widower at an advanced age without wishing another woman divorced or prematurely dead. I wish all mistresses are as reasonable as you are. Some of them wish us dead so that they can take over, not knowing the problems we domiciled wives face.  

Mrs B: What problems? 

Mrs A: While you may occasionally bemoan your teenage son's lack of a full-time father, you have only you and your children to feed most of the time. We domiciled wives must always put food on the table for our husbands and in-laws, regardless of an inadequate housekeeping allowance. If we complain to our in-laws, they call us our husbands' destiny-stealers. Feeding is more expensive than the rent and school fees our husbands pay to keep up appearances. You can't hide your phone and investment documents from a live-in husband, while you are advised to leave his own phone alone for peace to reign. That's why single mothers build their own personal houses faster than we domiciled wives do. My husband always reminds me that he built our house alone but forgets the heavy financial burden (of feeding, rent, school fees, etc) I carried while he paid for the building (which is in his name alone). Whenever I hear that he has another woman somewhere, I dread his bringing her home and sending me packing out of a house we both laboured to build. Some men endanger our lives by bringing their mistresses home while we are away, or sleeping with our friends, househelps, etc. No man will come and beat you up at your place the way he beats up his wife at home. That's why we wives throw tantrums and appear selfish and wicked to you mistresses. All our husband's mistresses know us from our husband's social media accounts and feel threatened when we visit their neighbourhoods for church evangelism, parties, visiting friends and relatives, etc. We may even stroll into their salon to make our hair after we finish shopping. They will think we are tracking them down when we really haven't known them as our rivals. 

Mrs B: Thanks for enlightening me in turn. Now I know how the other half lives. My teenage son interacts with good father figures at their best through good books and church programmes. My male relatives also answer his personal questions. After all, orphans survive the same way. 

................................

I hope we have all learnt something from this conference. Have a nice day. 

 

......

You may also like to read the following : 

http://adeboyefa.blogspot.com/2023/04/fibroid-surgery-and-recovery-process.html?m=1 

   ; 

  https://adeboyefa.blogspot.com/2024/08/some-socio-economic-tips.html?m=1 .

PREPARING FOR THE 2026 COMPUTER-BASED SSCE.

The Federal Government has announced that the Senior School Certificate Examination (SSCE) will be computer-based as from 2026 (https://tribuneonlineng.com/no-going-back-on-transition-of-neco-waec-others-to-cbt-fg/ ; https://fmino.gov.ng/fg-unveils-full-transition-to-cbt-for-waec-and-neco-by-2026-commends-necos-pilot-scheme/) . The multiple-choice sections will be done as in the UTME, so most candidates can learn what to expect from their older brothers and sisters. However, the other sections (practicals, essays, comprehension and summary) will also be computer-based. How can the candidates, parents, schools, examination bodies , governments, etc prepare for a hitch-free exam next year? 

1. Students (beginning from SSS 1, if not earlier) should start using their holidays to learn typing at the computer centres near them. While most students can type and send text messages, emails, social media posts and comments, etc from their phones (and can therefore easily type their essay, comprehension and summary answers in the English Language papers), they need to learn how to type fractions, superscripts, subscripts, integral signs, matrices, vectors, chemical equations, etc and how to draw complex diagrams before they can type their answers correctly in Maths and other science subjects. What about typing Yorùbá answers with the right tonal marks? They need to undergo training in using Microsoft Office, Corel Draw, etc and typing with 10 fingers instead of 2 (for greater speed). Most smartphone Office apps (such as WPS Office) do not allow typing fractions, matrices, vectors, etc (which are on the laptop and desktop Office apps) but only allow subscripts, superscripts and some diagrams (with the help of screenshots and photo editing). Hence, students should be trained in the desktop and laptop Office apps. After all, they will write their exams on desktop or laptop computers, not on smartphones. Smartphones can, however, help them access and view videos (from YouTube, Tiktok, etc) on using these apps. 

2. Parents should buy smartphones for their children and enrol them for computer training during the holidays, as discussed above. Smartphones will also give them access to the online versions of Advanced Learners' dictionaries (which are always fuller than the print versions, which must be portable). They can find zillions of synonyms and antonyms for any word through Google-search links to thesauruses (special dictionaries containing synonyms, antonyms and related words). This will help them solve crossword puzzles (also obtainable online), which will help enrich their vocabularies.  

3. Schools should start exposing their students to computer-based exams from SSS 1. Assignments can even be typed on phones and sent to teachers' email boxes. This will improve their proficiency in typing. 

4. Exam bodies should record videos of some sample students writing the exams on computers and post the videos online. This will help prepare the less-exposed students in rural schools. It will also confirm the feasibility of the computer-based exam system before the exams begin.      

5. (a) The government (in conjunction with the power holding companies) should ensure a regular uninterrupted electricity supply to all the examination centres throughout the exams. (b) After equipping the public schools with computers and stable electricity, the govt should also provide subsidized e-libraries and computer centres in town for other people (including private school students) to patronize.

6. With the computer-based exam systems, school teachers will no longer need to find specimens for Agric and Biology Practical exams. Hence, no teacher will have a foreknowledge of the specimens his students will identify and answer other questions on. Each candidate's computer will bring pictures or videos of his or her own unique set of specimens. Therefore, each candidate should Google all the unfamiliar organisms, etc in the Agric and Biology syllabuses ahead of the exam, screenshot their pictures and store the pictures into a Practicals folder for constant viewing. The specimens can come from the ocean floor, the desert , the top of a tree, or any unfamiliar habitat within the scope of the syllabus. 

7. The first set of candidates should be given an extra hour or 2 to get used to the new system. This will reduce the public outcry.

8. Marked printouts of each student's scripts (along with his or her unique set of questions) should be scanned into the exam body's online database for concerned parties to consult after the results are released. This feedback system will ensure transparency and accountability. With time, e-marking can be done without having to print out the candidates' e-scripts.

BENEFITS OF THE COMPUTER-BASED EXAMS

1. Typing will shield students from the effects of an illegible handwriting and also help markers with poor eyesight to mark essay-type answers well.

2. The computer will ring most wrongly-spelt words and suggest probable correct ones. This will reduce candidates' spelling errors (at least in Arts subjects). Students should, however, beware of suggested corrections to scientific names.   

3. Students will be able to cancel errors and make corrections without making their scripts unsightly. 

4. Every candidate will get as much writing space as he or she needs, without being constrained by the lack of enough extra sheets.   

Happy preparation to all the concerned stakeholders. 

Public notice on land ownership.

 Only the initial 1 plot of land I bought (at Ajidegbo, Gbongan ,from Chief Femi Akala) and built a house on is currently in my control. The additional half  plot of land I  bought later has been resold by the chief's  younger brother. I am still waiting for the  refund of the current price of the half plot of land (which has been fenced in by the new buyers with the rest of their land) .  I am yet to receive any compensation for it. 

Pictures of the relevant documents have been attached to this post.  The general public should, please, take note. 

MRS MODUPEORE ENAOHWO (NEE ADEBOYE), Courage Cottage, Ajidegbo, Gbongan, Osun State, Nigeria.  

Co-parenting after a divorce.

While a couple is married, the husband usually goes out to work while the wife takes care of the children and the home. After a divorce, how should the roles be shared? 

In most African lands, the father takes custody of the children and fends for them, while the mother goes away alone like a single lady. While this will make it easier for her to remarry, the father can't stay home all day and so leaves the children behind with a stepmother while going to work. He won't be able to supervise her treatment of his kids and be able to confirm or refute any allegation of ill-treatment. As a result, a bad stepmother maltreats the children or a good stepmother is maligned out of jealousy. 

Children are usually better off with their mother. Even if she remarries, she will be the one to spend more time with the children than their stepfather will. He will, therefore , have no opportunity to ill-treat them in her absence. Their father can always send money into their mother's bank account and mentor the children via phone calls, online messages,etc as they grow up. The e-statements of account and the online chats will show that the father did his duty by the children in spite of the divorce. 

We rarely hear about the wicked stepfather because he is unlikely to be alone with the children in their mother's absence. He can't starve them, since their mother is the cook who will get the feeding allowance from him. 

................

If the mother gets custody and the father pays maintenance as described above, children will adjust better to life after their parents' divorce. Also, no stepmother will be able to maltreat them (or be wrongly accused of maltreating them , in a bid to send her packing and reunite their biological parents). Rather than be wrongly called a wicked stepmother, some women would rather live outside (like mistresses) to bear and rear their kids until their stepchildren grow up and leave home. 

In the Bible, mothers usually got custody of their children (including sons) after a divorce (Genesis 21:9-21 ; Ezra 10:44).

Every teacher should have a typed-questions bank.

The summary passage of the June 1998 WASSCE English Language paper describes how public exam bodies set their questions months or even years in advance, vet the questions and then store them securely for future use.  

In this smartphone and Internet age, every teacher can easily keep a bank of his or her past and future typed questions. This is especially important for teachers of Mathematics and other Science subjects (whose questions need careful typing and proofreading because of the subscripts, superscripts, fractions, matrices, vectors, diagrams, etc). They should submit their handwritten questions to the typist early and get the typed Word document sent to their smartphones for careful proofreading before printing. Otherwise, they will have to go and make the corrections right in the examination halls. Even then, the question papers will be unsightly.

After proofreading the Word document and making all the necessary corrections, send the document to the printer. Keep the edited document on your phone & upload it as an email attachment for future reference. Each new term, paste in your new set of edited questions and upload the new document as an email attachment again. You are gradually building up your typed exam questions' bank. 

You can create a future questions' bank by: (a) using your phone to take pictures of typed questions on paper, extract the text in those pictures (with Google Photos, etc) into your phone's keyboard clipboard, and paste those questions into a Word document for proofreading ; (b) copying the text of questions found online into a Word document for proofreading. If your handwriting is legible enough, you can convert pictures of your handwritten questions into typed text. Pictures can be photographed (from books) or screenshot (from the Internet) and inserted into the Word document. You can also use your phone to draw complex diagrams with the help of an Office app and a photo-editing app .

You are now ready to churn out quality questions even at short notice. Your used and new questions are already in typed form and can be selected, copied and pasted into a new document, rearranged and numbered to your taste, etc within 30 minutes and sent for printing. You are ready to beat any deadline and can now concentrate on writing your lesson notes, delivering the lessons, marking your students' scripts, etc. WPS Spreadsheet (or other equivalent apps) will help you calculate the sums and arithmetic means of many students' scores fast during the result collation stage.  

Most typists make silly typing mistakes while rushing to type many questions within a week or two. Assist both them and yourself by submitting your questions early, proofreading your typed questions on your phone or computer (while they continue typing other people's questions on their computer) and keeping a typed question bank document regularly uploaded to your email box for safekeeping. 

 

"The Hunchback of Notre-Dame" by Victor Hugo.

The novel is set in France. 

 In Rheims, Paquette de Chantefleurie gives birth to a pretty baby girl. Then some Gypsies steal her baby and replace it with an ugly baby boy who is a hunchback. They take away the shoe of one leg of the baby and leave the other behind. Paquette goes to Notre-Dame and becomes a recluse known as "Sister Gudule". She curses every Gipsy she sees from the window of her room. She keeps the shoe left behind by the Gypsies. 

The Gypsies rear Paquette's daughter and she becomes the beautiful La Esmeralda. She dresses like a Gipsy, sings and dances beautifully and takes a goat around with her. She also carries her second shoe (taken by the Gypsies when they stole her) around. Meanwhile, the hunchback baby boy is adopted by the archdeacon of Notre-Dame , Claude Frollo, an orphan who has reared up his younger brother, Jehan. The hunchback is named Quasimodo and becomes

the ringer of church bells in Notre-Dame. The noise of the bells make him deaf with time.

 Sister Gudule keeps looking for her daughter and La Esmeralda for her mother. Sister Gudule curses La Esmeralda whenever she sees her, seeing her as a Gipsy.

La Esmeralda has once saved Pierre Gringoire from the gallows by marrying him but wards off his amorous advances with a dagger she always carries ground. She also gives Quasimodo some water to drink when he is pilloried and nobody else is willing to give him water. Quasimodo is eternally grateful to her for this. Her undoing is falling in love with one Captain Phoebus de Châteaupers ,the lover of rich Fleur-de-lys de Gondelaurier. 

While Fleur-de-Lys hates her because of Phoebus, the archdeacon wants her for himself. One day, Phoebus and Esmeralda enter a hotel room but the archdeacon stabs him from behind and everyone thinks she did it . She is sentenced to death by hanging, though Phoebus is not really dead. Quasimodo carries her to a sanctuary, from where the archdeacon and Pierre take her away in a boat. While Pierre is busy with the goat, the archdeacon asks her to choose between accepting his love advances and death by hanging. She defiantly chooses the latter so he takes her to Sister Gudule's cell and goes to call the soldiers. However, Sister Gudule and La Esmeralda get talking and discover they are mother and daughter when the shoes in their hands matched. Sister Gudule quickly changes from her enemy to her protector.  

Sister Gudule will have succeeded in hiding her from the soldiers, if she has not heard Phoebus' voice and shouted his name. Sister Gudule bites the hangman but pays for this with her life. The archdeacon watches Esmeralda's hanging with great pleasure from the top of the church tower. Quasimodo pushes him down from behind and he dies. Quasimodo flees Notre-Dame but his skeleton is found entwined with Esmeralda's 2 years later. Pierre Gringoire saves the goat and Phoebus marries his Fleur-de-lys.

................

* "Gipsies" = "Gypsies". Both spellings are correct.

"The Gods are not to blame" by Ola Rotimi

.CHARACTERS.

NARRATOR.

KING ADETUSA = the old king of Kutuje.

QUEEN OJUOLA = his wife.

KING ODEWALE = successor to Adetusa. 

ABERO = Odewale's second wife.

ADEROPO = second son of Adetusa and Ojuola. 

OGUN PRIEST.

BABA FAKUNLE = a soothsayer.

BOY = his escort.

FIRST, SECOND and THIRD CHIEFS.

ALAKA = Odewale's boyhood friend.

GBONKA, OLOJO = messengers to Adetusa.

IYA ABURO = a mad woman.

ROYAL BARD.

ADEWALE, ADEBISI, OYEYEMI, ADEYINKA = King Odewale's children. (The ones mentioned first and 3rd are boys, while the other 2 are girls). 

AKILAPA , BOKINI, LABATA, AGIDI = royal bodyguards. 

Townspeople, Drummers, Royal retainers. 

................................

PROLOGUE: When King Adetusa and Queen Ojuola have their first baby, an Ifa priest (Baba Fakunle) prophesies that the baby will kill his own father and marry his own mother. The baby is given to Gbonka (the king's special messenger) to be taken to the evil grove and killed. Two years later, the king and the queen bear another son, Aderopo ("replacement"). 32 years after that first boy's birth, King Adetusa has met a violent death. Kutuje's neighbours, the people of Ikolu, take advantage of the king's death and attack Kutuje. They kill, seize and enslave many people in Kutuje. 

Odewale , "son of Ogundele from Ijekun Yemoja", hears of their suffering and comes to their aid. He helps them defeat Ikolu into oblivion and is made the king of Kutuje (against their tradition of crowning only natives). He inherits Queen Ojuola (who has 4 children for him). The first 11 years of his reign are blissful.

               ACT 1 

Scene 1: A strange sickness is afflicting and killing many people in Kutuje. While Aderopo is away to Ile-Ife to ask Orunmila the cause of the plague, King Odewale teaches the people how to use herbs. The king also sends Iya Aburo (a lunatic) for treatment and fosters her baby.

Scene 2 : Aderopo delivers the oracle's message, "The land is suffering because King Adetusa's killer is living in peace in your midst!" He offers to bring Baba Fakunle to reveal the killer's identity. Odewale swears by Ogun (the god of iron) to expose the killer, remove his eyes and send him into exile.

         

      ACT 2

 Scene 1 : Aderopo returns with Baba Fakunle (who is now blind). When Baba Fakunle says he has smelt the murderer and turns away without revealing his identity, Odewale accuses him of having been bribed. Baba Fakunle now calls Odewale the murderer and a bedsharer.

Scene 2: Odewale accuses Aderopo of being behind the seer's accusation in order to get the throne from him. Despite all intercessions, he sends Aderopo on exile. ''May my eyes not see Aderopo again till I die!", he swears by Ogun.

Scene 3: Odewale returns from the town to the palace and is greeted by the royal bard.

Scene 4: Odewale refuses to tell Ojuola the cause of his quarrel with Aderopo. He summons the chiefs to a meeting.

            ACT 3 

Scene 1:  

  Alaka, "son of Odediran", Odewale's boyhood friend from Ijekun Yemoja, comes to the palace to see him. "When Odewale left our village 13 years ago, he made me swear not to look for him until both of his parents are dead". Odewale is the "son" of Alaka's master. Odewale tells Alaka," I ran away from Ede (where I said you would find me) because a man died there in my hands. I caught an old man and several other people harvesting yams on my land. He called me a bush man and a thief and told his men (Gbonka and Olojo) to bundle me up. They said the land I bought belongs to the mother of their master. As the other 3 men attacked me, I used incantations to put them to sleep. The old man remained awake and used incantations to get me to drop dead. I used my hoe to strike him dead with a single blow and then ran away from the place in horror. I crossed five rivers before getting to this strange land".

Scene 2: Odewale explains his anger at Aderopo (over Baba Fakunle's comments) to Ojuola. Ojuola said that this same seer : (a) made her kill her first son ; (b) said King Adetusa was killed by one of his own blood. Odewale calls in the chiefs to hear that second part (which seems to vindicate him, as a "stranger" in their midst). The chiefs and Queen Ojuola agree that King Adetusa was killed near Ede (according to an eyewitness account). This reference to Ede makes Odewale uncomfortable (since he also killed a man there) . The eyewitness, Gbonka, is sent for. 

Scene 3: Alaka tells Odewale about his "father's" death in peace. Odewale reveals another past experience. "A man I considered my uncle once called me an impostor. I consulted an oracle which said I would kill my father and marry my mother but said I should stay where I was and not run away. That is why I ran away from home. My father has now died in peace". Alaka now says Ogundele and Mobike are not Odewale's biological parents. Further questioning makes Alaka reveal that he and his master (Ogundele) got Odewale as a baby (wrapped up like a sacrifice to the gods) from Gbonka. Ojuola now knows she has married her son and walks into the bedroom in dismay. 

Scene 4: Gbonka is led into the palace. He doesn't recognise Alaka until Alaka (as a younger man) prods his memory. When Odewale eventually knows his wife is his mother, he goes into the bedroom (where Ojuola has killed herself by pushing a knife into her own womb). Aderopo is sent for and he sees that Odewale has gorged out his own eyes with Ojuola's suicide knife. 

Odewale apologises to Aderopo (who says that is how the gods meant it to happen). Odewale now says," Do not blame the gods. It was my harsh temper that made me kill my father for insulting the tribe I thought was my own. It was that murder that made me run to this land where I married my mother". He tells the chiefs to give Ojuola a befitting burial and then goes into exile with all his children. 

"Oge ré mi fọ́ " by Ògúngbádé Ábìdínì Gbén̄ga

"Oge ré mi fọ́" means "Vanity destroyed me" in Yoruba language. The novel highlights how spoiling a child leads to terrible results in future. However, some children rise above bad parental training and examples and end up well. 

CHAPTER 1 : Ládélé is an indigene of Akẹ́lẹ́mù, near Oyo town in Oyo State. From his Primary 3 days, he has decided to be either a Customs officer or a policeman because of the bribes he would get. He says he will rather use his child for money rituals rather than be poor. His father , Ògúntọ̀míwá, is a renowned herbalist. Ládélé's mother is Ògúntọ̀míwá's favourite wife. Ládélé too becomes a herbalist under his father's tutelage. He has been making charms for criminals before graduating from primary school. He is skilled in soccer and speaks good English. He rejects the pregnancies of 3 of his female customers, who dare not complaint because of his spiritual powers. 

After leaving primary school, he gets into the Police Force. His smartness gets him posted to the office of the Commissioner of Police right after graduating from the police training college. Three months later, his immediate boss (Inspector Adérìntọ́) is dismissed from the force for trying to pervert the course of justice. Ládélé goes scotfree as a subordinate officer, who must obey his bosses' orders without asking questions. His handwriting attracts the attention of the Commissioner, who makes him his confidant and favourite. Ládélé's superiors and many influential people in the society have to befriend and bribe him before getting the Commissioner's favor. He has many girlfriends and 2 children from his 2 wives. He builds 2 bungalows and a 2-storey building. 

Then he meets and falls in love with Músílì , a popular woman selling fabrics to the high and mighty (including the Commissioner of Police). 

CHAPTER 2 : Their love affair is the talk of Ọdẹ́dá and Idi Radio, especially among the police officers. Her earlier lovers back off because of Ládélé's greater wealth and charms. Músílì has 2 children from 2 earlier husbands but insists on a statutory marriage (which makes him divorce his 2 earlier wives) and a lavish traditional wedding (as for a spinster bride). Ládélé doesn't mind the cost (including having to sell off his 2 bungalows) because he will get enough bribe at his office to settle any debt. However, the lavish wedding attracts his senior colleagues' attention and they start monitoring him more closely at work. The police commissioner gets promoted to an AIG while Ládélé is posted out to Múwọnlẹ́rú Police Station. Músílì has 5 children (Bọ́sẹ̀dé , Abíọ́dún and 3 sons, in that order) for Ládélé. 

CHAPTER 3 : Bọ́sẹ̀dé(Músílì 's firstborn child with Ládélé) attends a private primary school owned by Dr Búsàrí Òjó in Ibadan. When Mr Àjàyí canes Bọ́sẹ̀dé for cutting a fellow pupil's skin on the arm with a blade, Músílì alerts the family's standby lawyer (paid a salary even before any legal battle ensues) and goes to the school to beat up the teacher. She then reports to the police. Dr Òjó is out of the country . His second-in-command has to beg many influential people to beg Ládélé and Músílì against getting Mr Àjàyí jailed. Ládélé said they should have asked him to pay the other pupil's hospital expenses instead of caning his child. When she later continues her bad behaviour after the incident, Dr Búsàrí Òjó expels Bọ́sẹ̀dé from his school. Ládélé is angry but his lawyer explains that he has the legal right do so. Ládélé takes Bọ́sẹ̀dé and Abíọ́dún to a private school, where he deposits ₦0.5 million, enough to pay their school fees for 5 years. The new school's staff agree not to cane Ládélé's children for any reason. Bọ́sẹ̀dé acts anyhow but Abíọ́dún is disciplined and often refutes Bọ́sẹ̀dé's lies against the teachers. Even then, Ládélé and his wife insist that the children's tolerance levels differ. Jídé and Kọ́lá are just as spoilt as Bọ́sẹ̀dé and attend the same school with their sisters. The school proprietor rejoices when Bọ́sẹ̀dé graduates and goes to a secondary school. He has merely been tolerating Bọ́sẹ̀dé's excesses because his school is newly-founded and needs money. Ládélé has been sponsoring many of the school's projects. Abíọ́dún is both brilliant and well-mannered.

Ládélé also bribes Bọ́sẹ̀dé's secondary school proprietor into laxity. By JSS 3, Bọ́sẹ̀dé has become a prostitute, drug addict and cultist. She gets pregnant for Abíọ́nà in SSS 1 and has to stop schooling. If not for Abíọ́nà's wealth, Ládélé would have sent him to prison for truncating her education. Bọ́sẹ̀dé herself tells Ládélé not to punish him.

CHAPTER 4: Ládélé throws a lavish

 wedding for Bọ́sẹ̀dé and Abíọ́nà, just before his due retirement. He has sold 2 of his 3 houses to finance his wedding to Músílì decades ago. He is now much poorer and loses his wife's respect and fidelity. Ládélé doesn't have enough money to bribe his sons' way out of going to prison for an offence. Bọ́sẹ̀dé is possessive and wrecks Abíọ́nà's pharmacy business by fighting his female customers. When Bọ́sẹ̀dé gives birth to their first child, she and Músílì compel Abíọ́nà to throw a lavish naming ceremony. Abíọ́nà has to sell off his car. Bọ́sẹ̀dé resumes her adultery and later marries Abídọlá as her second husband. She frustrates Abídọlá's first wife (the mother of his three children) out of his home after getting pregnant for him. She is also hostile to his relatives and friends. After their child Rọ́pò's naming ceremony, she resumes her adultery and later marries Johnson when Abídọlá's business fails. She has a child for Johnson too. Johnson beats her frequently for not stopping her adultery. They eventually part ways.

CHAPTER 5: Bọ́sẹ̀dé decides to live alone in order to get full sexual freedom. When she can't renew her rent, she moves back to her parents' house. She, they and their grandchildren manage Ládélé's little pension. They live together in the upper floor of the building while their tenants fill the lower floor. Bọ́sẹ̀dé continues her prostitution with the aid of charms. Abíọ́dún often comes from her husband's house to warn her to no avail. She is the only good one among Músílì 's children. Her real biological father is a policeman who couldn't afford to drag her paternity with Ládélé. Bọ́sẹ̀dé's parents side her in evil. When Bọ́sẹ̀dé's prostitution business wanes, she turns to buying and reselling stolen clothes. She is caught by the police 2 years later but her father bribes the way for her release. None of her 3 ex-husbands is ready to take her back or cater for their child. Bọ́sẹ̀dé later marries a younger man nicknamed Pàrómà. Pàrómà sells illicit drugs at motor parks and beats her up every other day. It is his way of curing her indiscipline. He rapes her after beating her up at night. His neighbours are too hardened to come to her aid. Wherever she flees to her father's house, Pàrómà would come and beg for her return, only to beat her again. When she eventually refuses to return to his house, he beats her up thrice in her father's house before being warned by the police.

CHAPTER 6: Bọ́sẹ̀dé's ex-husbands doubt her children's paternity and refuse to help her with them. Two of her sons are caught by the police for oil theft. Ládélé fails to secure their release because of the incorruptible police boss. His charms also fail to get them released. Ládélé dies and Músílì follows him to the grave 3 months later. Bọ́sẹ̀dé's sons get life imprisonment. She uses her father's house to get a ₦500,000 loan to bribe her sons' prison warder boss into releasing them. Before the day they are to be released, the prison boss is transferred elsewhere after a prison riot. The new prison boss is incorruptible. Her creditors only allow her to live in one room without collecting any rent from her tenants until she repays the loan. When Abíọ́dún gets wind of the situation and decides to repay the loan, the creditors use charms to get Bọ́sẹ̀dé to sell the house for ₦1 million. They give Bọ́sẹ̀dé only the balance of ₦500,000 because of her unpaid loan. The next day, Pàrómà (Bọ́sẹ̀dé's ex-husband) and his gang rob her of the money and take turns to rape her. It's too late for Abíọ́dún to redeem the house.  

CHAPTER 7: Bọ́sẹ̀dé's creditors rent a room for her near her father's house and pay 3 years' rent. She uses cosmetics and skin bleaching to enhance her prostitution business. She sells alcoholic drinks at a motor park, where she meets men of her age. Bleaching creams give her skin different colours yet she can't stop because of the withdrawal symptoms (e.g. skin itching). Her offensive body odour (caused by bleaching) chases her customers away and ends her prostitution and alcohol businesses. She then turns to illegal mining of gold, silver, etc. On her way to the mining site one day, her vehicle collides with a trailer. All the passengers survive with serious injuries and need to have their skins stitched. Bleaching has weakened Bọ́sẹ̀dé's skin so she doesn't survive the surgery (unlike all the other passengers). Her last words were," Vanity destroyed me. It made me sell off my father's house, bleach my skin, sell my body,..."

¤